For entertainment, history, diary, to learn about self and others for improvement purposes.
Real names of people occur to show accurate memory. I don't put the full name of anyone respectable except in cases of common names.
I color coded to quickly visually see and compare positive (green), neutral (black) and negative (red), at least in my opinion.
Memorable Nicknames Given by Others
by high school boys and girls, Texarkana, Texas, 1980's mainly regarding the movie ET. This seemed to be out of boredom and I didn't mind.
by Gary Knaupe, brother's friend who was obsessed with nicknames and penises, around 1982. He gave this nickname to both me and my brother.
by Jerry Allen, a neighbor of Ashdown, Arkansas, 1986, referring to how I loved driving around in my 1974 Buick LeSabre at age 17-18.
by a high school male bully when I was riding my bicycle, Texarkana, Texas around 1982. He didn't seem to be too hostile in this case, but I still consider it a bully act. This one wasn't really repeated, but I wanted it in the list because I remember every detail.
by Diane Thomas, a pretty classmate from Chicago who sat close to me in a typing class around 1985, age 15. One time she snagged her panty hose on the floor and asked me to help unsnag in an attempt to get me interested in her. She smoked and was dating another, so I shied away. Much later, around 2012, I had a "stoned" website design client from Redding, California for fukn.com who often called me Dude when we were short time roommates in his sister's condo in Bothel, Washington.
Short for Talaska with a loud, deep, strung-out emphasis by some high school boys and a male black basic training comrade (1980's and 90s)
by Sargent Robinson or Robertson, Fort Riley, Kansas, 1988 when he asked me what I want to be. President of the United States was my serious answer.
by an obese black male co-worker, Douglas "Doug" Price, Cooper Tire, Texarkana, Arkansas, 1992 where I was "seniority clock number 4942". After he repeated this every day for a long time with supervision not willing to take action, I called him "Cholesterol Man" with no affect. He continued to harass and call me "nerd" so one day I called him "Nigger". He immediately cornered me in a 50' trailer and threatened to seriously hurt me if I called him that again. My reasoning was to let him know "nerd" is as hurtful. I never consider "Nigger" a racial label, but rather cultural in the same way as "nerd", being associated with whites.
by a male coworker in the tread tray factory line at Cooper Tire, Texarkana, Arkansas, 1992 when he asked me what my name was and it was too loud for him to understand so he said he'll just call me Chuck. He would often say "What the fuck, Chuck".
by a heavyset supervisor who frequently ate popcorn in the Millroom of Cooper Tire, Texarkana, Arkansas, 1992, referring to the famous old song and how I could not stand being put in a stationary workstation, so I wondered around, exploring the factory every chance I got and pushed my luck of getting in trouble doing so. I would wonder to various areas and pretend like I'm there for a purpose. It worked.
by Richard Litman, the owner / main attorney for Litman Law Offices, Alexandria, Virginia in 1998, referring to how I wondered around, exploring the workplace because I couldn't stand being placed in a cubicle with no windows all day, every day.
Two horny, young, married women I worked with at Nix Law Firm when traveling in Washington around 2001. They performed client chest x-rays. One was married to a major league baseball player. I refused to show interest as I don't get down with women dating others or especially if married. A married attorney, Ed Hohn, did. He died in 2009 shortly after his wife divorced him and took custody of their two kids. I always knew he was in for trouble based on how high strung he was. I suspected drug abuse.
by Jeana Santos-Smedley, a separated-pending divorce 35 year old woman of Murfreesboro, Arkansas - 2006. She called me slick several times while dating, assumedly referring to how I seduced her easily and quickly upon meeting. She died in a four-wheeler accident in 2006.
by a computer repair client in Murfreesboro, Arkansas who referred to how I stubbornly refused to join any church to socialize. He warned me of the dangers of proceeding in life alone without getting closer to others. He would be usually right, but I've been lucky (overall) so far solo.
Probably many others I'm not aware of that they were/are too two faced to let me know, including and especially from family.
Nicknames / IDs Given by Self
48 - racing number I chose for my 1992 Kawasaki KX 80 race motorcycle around 1985. I chose this number based on an estimated age I predicted myself to be considered highly successful in life (my own desirable family, desirable career and desirable house). I never achieved any of those things as of age 51. However I have achieved a lot of other things I consider important.
At around this same time I wish my first name was John, not Eric. At that time I felt uncomfortable with Eric.
since around 2000, simply my name spelled backwards. I always like the foreign or ancient sound of this and that it actually would work OK.
Not so much of a nickname, but name of small sailboat I had in 1991. However the name was to signify how I wanted my life to be.
Name change consideration
Around 2005 I considered legally changing my name due to being ignored and undervalued by my entire family and disappointed in my father's side of the family. I told my mother this and she highly disapproved. Proposed names included Eric Sage and most recently Eco Neato, but the latter mostly for consistency of branding and to immediately let others know of my passion because I feel like "Eric Talaska" means nothing. I've often thought about what I would name any children of the future.
2000's, rarely used
2017 to Present
Notice how this proves many others are unable to figure me out or deceive due to the inconsistencies and falseness.
Some are very similar to nicknames, but for some reason I feel just not quite the same.
by my father when I was around 10 years old due to being so bored I explored everything in and around the house. I'm not for sure, but I think the main culprit was when I would stick my fingers in his silver scrap metal shavings he put on top of the fridge when he cut silver coins into jewelry. I think he put it there just to see if I would take any of the scrap. He liked to test and spy. I come from a family with a low amount of respect for privacy and who liked to point out and focus on negative rather than positive personality traits.
Grinner, smirker, too happy
by my sister, father and several others until around age 35. In my youth I indeed grinned and smiled a lot. Many didn't like that. Until around age 35 I often couldn't help it. I was just happy to look at people. I knew many hated that and I tried to hold it in, but I couldn't. I think it has a lot to do with my dad being a joker, but my siblings didn't grin and were not happy. I think I stopped grinning and smiling after so much abuse by others and losing trust in others, many serious jobs, formal education and substantial decrease in in person socialization, particularly due to the Internet.
"Talaska can be cool", exclaimed James "Jimmy" Townsend while we were standing in a typical long line at Pleasant Grove High School, Texarkana, Texas. This was his attempt to defend me from the many bullies. We had been best friends for a short time. We sat next to each other in a beginner algebra class, taught by Miss Oden. While in class, we sang the tune to Gilligan's Island. The seating was arranged by last name. James became a prominent Executive Producer for many TV shows and movies. The only other popular student who was on my side was Mark Hawkins who became a lawyer in Austin, Texas.
by Kim Johnson, a co-student on grade higher than me in a computer science course, 1984, my age of 15. She announced in class "Eric's gay!" when I refused to read her e-mails (among the first emails in the world by the way). She was very attractive, but I didn't like her attitude and so I ignored her. She didn't like me ignoring her. About a year earlier, Todd Wilson, a cowboy and co-student in an English class lifted a pant to feel if I shaved my legs or not under the suspicion I was gay because I was different than others. I was never gay, by the way. Many wouldn't consider being gay a negative, but I do because I believe it to be against nature, but I don't judge others as long as what they do doesn't harm others. Sometimes I wonder if the world is better with more gays because it would help ease overpopulation growth.
by Leah Allen, a middle aged woman - neighbor in Ashdown, Arkansas in 1987. She would intensely fuss over my looks. I have always been considered handsome / a pretty boy as a child, so much so, that at around age 14 there was an attempt to abduct me for child porn.
Too slow (two work instances)
1) by a Sonic restaurant owner named Jerry in Ashdown, Arkansas, 1987 while a senior in high school. The pace was required to be so fast that my co-worker dropped meat patties on the floor as well as cut his finger and dripped blood on the patties, but still served them to customers in order to be fast enough to keep his job and make others look too slow.
2) by Walt Warren, Operations Manager, warehouse department, Cooper Tire Company, Texarkana, Texas, 1990. The job was to load and unload a certain amount of tires per hour. The union steward defended me by saying I should be given a second chance, benefit of the doubt, so they did and I met the quota by working at a superhuman pace.
by highly abusive Sargent Luke Davidoff in the Army, Fort Riley, Kansas, 1988-89. He often criticized me over very petty things. I responded with reasons why I did what I did. His responded with "you're rationalizing" in an extremely hostile / non-leadership manner and said I needed to be remolded to conform to how they wanted me to be. At that time, age 19, I didn't understand what he meant. All I knew was this guy is the closest thing to Satan I've ever met.
by my first serious girlfriend, Kari B. in 1991 because I didn't like how she smoked, etc. She said I'm never going to find the perfect woman. She's right. Then notably again in 2020 by a new middle aged woman friend from Santa Cruz, California.
by a small TV station reporter. I don't know what he was referring to. I had a feeling he was jealous I might rise above him.
Calm under stress / pleasant
by various others at various times. Females become more relaxed talking with me on the phone.
by MaryHelen McConnel of Texarkana, Texas, a close friend of my mother, around 1995. This woman, at that time aged around 65, was a chain smoker who didn't have to work because her husband had a high paying job. She was highly critical of me, particularly upset when I told my parents they shouldn't gamble anywhere.
A me person (selfish)
by a rude bubblegum chewing redneck coworker with an extreme southern accent while in training to be a Nielsen Media Research TV Ratings Install Tech in Dunedin, Florida, 1996. At first I thought he said I'm a "neat" person, but had to clarify due to the extreme accent. I'm actually extraordinarily altruistic. I am always trying to figure out how to make the world a better place.
by a middle aged woman who was a judge, then suffered from viral encephalitis and became a paralegal. In 2000, I was searching AOL to meet a single woman in Dallas, Texas and accidentally met her being from Dallas, Oregon (because I didn't specify state). She invited me to live with her since I dreamed of moving there, so we did, platonically, for a short time. She liked how caring I was and said I'd make a great father.
by a female recruiter for Match.com, Richardson, Texas around 2000 based on how I goofily acted during the job interview. I was denied any position there.
by Mohammed Rahman from India when working at Stream International for HP phone support for laptops in 2000 in Richardson, Texas. He was annoyed by how I liked to keep my cubicle a little more clean and organized than the others. He wasn't hostile, just expressing his opinion.
by Maureen D. Brown, an abusive Paralegal Supervisor, Nix Law Firm, Daingerfield, Texas. When I did something she didn't like, she responded with "THINK!" in a hostile manner. The kind of work required extreme attention to detail and management of 20 major complicated lawsuits, so it was easy to make errors. I invented a skate brake and wrote the patent that was approved. I have seven years of college and self-taught diverse subjects. I have built, on my own, the world's most sophisticated and advanced campervan in the world (as of 2020). I composed a presidential platform.
Lazy, doesn't want to work
by my sister who's only job she ever had working for anyone else was at a café for a very short time. She refuses to accept I've been through Army basic and job training, was deployed overseas twice, did hard factory manual labor in a tire factory in an extremely hot and dirty environment with two 15 minute breaks per day during night shifts often lasting 12 hours and went to college during the day, all for two years, completed seven years of college to earn two degrees (professors believed I worked hard enough), remodeled a house on my own, installed utilities on a lot, built my own high tech campervan, am always working on something and never party, etc.
A great person who is disliked by others
by my mother according to her friends. Her friends didn't specify, but they said my mother spoke very highly of me and frequently. My mother told me in person that others don't like me because they don't like someone who is usually right and proves them wrong.
by a divorced woman around age 35 I was a platonic roommate with in Plano, Texas around 2014. She was taking prescriptions for her mental illnesses and got agitated about how I was not attracted to her (but I was physically, just not personality wise) and was against her letting strange men in the house who looked scary to me so she called me mental. The tipping point of me moving out was when she allowed a scary looking man in with his pit bull who charged after my service dog I defended with pepper spray. Then I called the police because she was trying to break in my room and harassing me. I'm not insulted by the name "mental" because everybody is mental. But if she said I was mentally ill, that's an insult to an extent, but even then, really everybody is mentally ill to some degree.
Having a tic and a good person
by my favorite and most serious ex girlfriend Lorna from Switzerland when while driving on a country road she said I have a neck tic. She was referring to my frequent conscious movement of my head back for better posture. Nobody else ever said I have a tic before or after that. Later she wanted to break up. We only dated a few months, but traveled much together from Louisiana to Montana. We got along great, but she was sensitive, made wrong conclusions and quit too soon.
A professional manipulator
by my brother around 2013 during a stressful time we lost our parents and were handling their estate in Ashdown, Arkansas. My brother was too busy working to manage most things, so I stepped in to greatly assist, but he didn't like the loss of complete control over everything and was getting very annoyed by me gaining control. A few weeks after he said to me "I guess you're a professional manipulator", I told him he lacks integrity which is the keystone moment he disowned me, starting with the statement "I can really fuck you up", meaning to abuse his power as estate executor. He became extremely uncooperative, hostile and egregious to the point I filed a court petition against him in which case the Judge made a rather neutral overall decision because he was too lazy to read and interpret my complaint that pointed out many critically egregious acts of my brother. I consider being called a manipulator an insult, but only mildly due to believing that being good at persuasion is a desirable skill if under ethical circumstances. In this case, I tried to persuade my brother to distribute the estate in a way that would help me in my unemployed and desperate situation, but still retain fairness. His goal was to ignore my situation and get as much as possible, sometimes to the point of cheating, lying and having a selective memory in his favor and in order to back out of agreements.
by various others to include psychiatrists and general counselors, 2015 - 2020
How I Describe Myself
Responsible, mindful, altruistic for all life - ecocentric, caring, loyal, analytical, problem solving, creative, futuristic, intelligent, effective, fun, clean, organized, relaxing, patient.
I don't put intelligence up front because I think relative to what there is to know, all humans are relatively ignorant.